Dec 18, 2009 – Boffed the chien
Email Relationships
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 5:54 AM
Subject: RE: Brad Part Four
Good morning sunshine…..
Last ‘get up and go’ until January 4th 2010!!! Woooooooooh
Thanks for listening to me whine yesterday…. and sorry for imposing my life ‘noise’ on you. I try and deal with it as best I can and for the most part am doing ok with that. Must be the time of year or something huh?
Ok…. here’s a couple of photos for you…. not sure what I’m going to attach here ….. just felt it was time to send more (and btw man… you haven’t sent a single one since you sent me that link… I’m feeling neglected )…..
Now get in the kitchen and cook me breakfast (mmmm…. I love breakfast). Please?
A
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 5:57 AM
Subject: p.s.
love the photo of the little girls in line for the ladies room… one of my favourites I took in India….
just thought I’d let you know that.
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 10:00 AM
Subject: Good morning back at you
Hey Alexis,
What kind of effect is the ladies room??? I love it … Almost looks like shooting through a screen door or something …
I love the old buildings too … sense of abandonment … what happened to the people who used those things?
Great term ‘life noise’ … I’m a great listener and a great shoulder … no problem … Hey if we can’t be authentic and talk about stuff that really matters to us then talking on the phone is just ‘phone noise’.
Ok … no stories today … I REALLY have to get some heavy SEOing done today!
Congrats on you holiday holiday although this year you sounded a bit like scrooge … I’ve sounded exactly the same way … love hearing you rant!
Am I invited to the party today at work … you are having one right? Egg nog and hats? Do you ever watch ‘The Office’???
Have to go!
Thanks for the morning travel …
Robert
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 10:29 AM
Subject: RE: Good morning back at you
The ‘ladies room’ effect… If I tell you it’ll probably spoil it for you… but here goes…
Again.. that photo was taken with the mighty 2.8 megapixel Nikon Coolpix back in 2005. The original jpeg is lost… have NO idea what happened to it… AND.. I can’t find my original memory cards from the trip
(note to self… organize your life!!)… so… that is a scan of a colour print that I made of the original.. imported it into photoshop… and played around with it until I liked it. So… the effect… let’s just call it the ‘Alexisfrenzy’ effect ok??
The old building is nearby… behind some cottages on dead Lake Erie… very very cool place. I really want to go back there when there’s snow on the ground.. and… without my dog (she was with me on that shoot… couldn’t really focus with her there… but… I still love her!)
So… when can we take this trip together Robert (talk about getting to the point huh?)… I’d love a high energy travel companion… that can cook.
No party hats and eggnog here…. although there is a platter of fluorescent rainbow coloured (I believe) cookies covered in what appears to be glass shards? Amazing what you can buy at Zehrs eh?
btw…. I am the BEST baker of Christmas cookies (scrooge that I am) in Southern Ontario. No artificial colours… no margarine… no ‘bleached’ flour… no fake vanilla … and when needed… organic/free range eggs….. guaranteed to make you weak in the knees…..
want some??
A
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 1:37 PM
Subject: So….
how the heck am I supposed to inspire you….
… if I can’t even distract you???!!
(rhetorical question btw… and I’m SO bored !!)
neeeeeeeed to fleeeeeeeee……. now!!!
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 2:14 PM
Subject: Re: So….
Ok … sorry … have meeting down the street at Timmies in a few minutes but I will forgo any prep to type something to you … oh bored one …
Don’t you hate that … the few time in the kitchen whe…there were no guests, you have prepped everything that can be prepped and washed everything that can be washed other than the bottoms of your feet … and still no guests … I love it when was busy … 20 tickets up on the board … many orders for pasta of the day because they love you …
The kitchen was the worst of times and the best of times …
Distract me? I haven’t had a minute to myself since early this morning … btw I’m not really feeling too sorry for you considering you have 47 days off …
So the secret to great photo effects is to discard the original … you mentioned .jpg … does your camera do raw? .
Sorry … got to run …
Robert
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 2:31 PM
Subject: RE: So….
thank you thank you thank you!!!
you rescued me from the brink of doing something really stupid (out of boredom of course!)
Yes, my camera (the one I have now) does shoot raw… the coolpix didn’t. Still… I don’t shoot raw when I’m on vacation… I’d need a memory card sherpa with me at all times if I did!!! I take THOUSANDS of photos when I’m vibrating !!!! (<- do with that what you like )
Well… I’ve pretty much ‘boffed the chien’ for most of the day… just waiting for an appropriate time to leave. Soon…..
Hey.. we haven’t talked music yet.
Your tastes??
Opera or Rap?
Country or World?
Celine Dion or Michael Bolton? (the only acceptable answer to that one is ‘hand grenade’)
alrighty then…. I think I’m going to split. Gotta get workin’ on the 1st of those 47 days off !
hope things went well at Timmies….
A
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 6:56 PM
Subject: Boffed The Chien …
Ok … I forgot something … ‘boffed the chien’ has got to be the most amazing phrase that I can think of for the corporate, governament, working for the man, taking care of business and sucking up to your boss business bullshit world.
Congratulations … I told you I found language wonderful, powerful and aweinspiring … you won todays prize! You made my day …
Thanks ..
R
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 7:35 PM
Subject: RE: Boffed The Chien …
Glad I could do that for ya!!
I too am a language lover…. it’s so much fun to play with!
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 6:37 PM
Subject: Country and Rap …
Hey Alexis,
Congrats on making it through another year of cubicle life … the world is waiting for you to suck the collective souls of all those wonderfull faces and donation bins …
Yup my only music is Country and Rap … actually everything but most of those genres … emimem was interesting … some rock country fusion … but bring on World music … hard rock … AC/DC … Southern blues …. anything with a Banjo or a Cello! … Pink Floyd rocks (David Gilmour makes me weep and vibrate – your word which I have stolen) … that reminds me of a story where I crashed through a roof and landed on concrete 14 feet below … I was in shock with a broken heel bone and many other injuries but I still made it to a Pink Floyd tribute band concert that night … my choice the local emerg or the concert …, concert won … the flashing lights and the shock was the best non drug induced high I have ever been on!
Sorry I just had a meeting with the most creative graphic designer I have ever met and we have decided to market our services together … awesome … drank way too many coffees … my manic side is showing and I hope you like it!
Want to work at home???? I’m building some momentum here and some of your photos could definitely work here … also I need some grunt data entry done??? No pressure … remember I’m manic right now …
Verbose? Yup and your your cookies sound amazing! Don’t waste your life! I’m talking to me right now but you can listen … I might just drive you crazy but I am DEFINITELY NOT boring or vanilla.
Bye ..
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 7:34 PM
Subject: RE: Country and Rap …
so you know Bela Fleck and the Flecktones then right?
Well…. surprise surprise… we have the same musical tastes (except for the AC/DC thing)… too angry for me.
we have a great venue out here called zooz …. amphitheatre (sp?) … outdoors (are there indoor ones?)
They have a summer series of Classic Rock concerts… Pink Floyd tribute band… saw Dark side of the Moon there last year … full moon… under the stars…. warm summer breeze…. little bit of the ‘herb’ (in the form of cookies) It was a memorable evening!
Have you seen the movie “Love Song for Bobby Long”?? Scarlett Johansson and John Travolta. Freaking great movie…. and the sound track is incredible. It’s not a chick flick if that’s what your thinking…..
I’d love to work at home…. tell me more
Wow… just read this email… sounds like I’m on a caffeine high too!!
So… what’s up this evening for you Robert?
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 9:13 PM
Subject: Re: Country and Rap …
Don’t know the Flectones … AC/DC is probably a male thing … zooz sounds great … wish I had of been there with you …
I’m watching Inglorious Bastards with Brad Pitt … not sure I like it … lots of violence and subtitles …
Talk to you soon …
R
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 10:20 PM
Subject: RE: Country and Rap …
WAIT…. Brad’s at your place… and you’re watching a movie together!!??? WTF?? Why wasn’t I invited??
talk to me soon?…. as in tonight soon….. or soon soon?
A
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 10:53 PM
Subject: Re: Country and Rap …
Man that was a long movie … didn’t know it was so late!
Brad was great as a Nazi hunter … he’s so cute .. cuter than in person!
I’m going to hit the hay …
Sweet dreams …
Robert
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Fri, Dec 18, 2009 at 10:54 PM
Subject: RE: Country and Rap …
Sweet dreams to you too….
Alexis
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Dec 17, 2009 – Jogging With Brad Pitt
Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 1:06 AM
Subject: Good Morning Alexis
Thanks … I really enjoyed last night!
Robert
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 5:22 AM
Subject: RE: Good Morning Alexis
You’re welcome….
Great big ditto on this end too!
Alexis
ps – Sorry for talking so much!!!
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 9:48 AM
Subject: RE: and……
I need to be entertained… crazy stupid day here.. they have us on a cleaning binge… ‘a place for
everything and everything in it’s place’… can’t believe the stuff they’re throwing out!
It’s no wonder we’re in the position we’re in.
(tiny little rant there)
… tell me a story….
pretty please?
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 10:53 AM
Subject: Re: and……
Ranting! I love it … Don’t get me going … Ok …
Once upon a time there was this wounded little boy who was verbally assaulted every day by the big bad
…. oh wait a minute … you probably want to hear another story … right???
Ok … I was in the middle of my leave my wife, leave my present jobs, leave Toronto, I want to EVERYTHING about my life kind of situation a few years ago …. The Gemini manic guy moved to Meaford and started having dinner parties almost every night and was setting up a non profit foundation for abused kids called the “Logos Foundation” …. Logos is a word that I fell in love with … ancient Greek … simple definition is 2 or 3 pages long … I was reading Aristotle at the time …
Yikes … this is really going to be a long story! I got so much to tell you! And I have SOOOO much to do right now ….
Keep checking back I will continue when I have a spare moment …
Robert
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 10:58 AM
Subject: RE: and……
tease…..
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Subject: Re: and……
tease … please …
Ok, I’m in the middle of all this non profit stuff and I get a phone call from an old friend of mine who
connected with a dot com startup in Calgary who were looking for internet software similar to some code
that I spent 4 or 5 years developing. I spoke to both the president and CEO who seemed quite interested
in a demo of said software. But where to demo? … they offered to fly me and a friend out to Calgary
and put us up in a suite in the most expensive hotel in Calgary. Ok … which friend to take???
Have to go … back at you soon !!!
Robert
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 12:15 PM
Subject: Brad Part 3
Long story short … decided to take a woman who kept showing up at my dinner parties who had never beenout of the province …
Also took my new wonderful soul suckers … http://www.dpreview.com/reviews/CanonEOS1DMkII/ and http://www.the-digital-picture.com/Reviews/Canon-EF-70-200mm-f-2.8-L-IS-USM-Lens-Review.aspx … these are a big part of the Brad story …
Few days later … limo to airport … partied in departures lounge … got on plane … partied in plane … too much brandy … arrived in Calgary … picked up my bags … hers??? … nowhere to be found … waited … waited … getting very late … finally we checked with customer service … bags are being searched by RCMP … what??? finally she tells me that her husband (first time I heard of him) was in a US high security prison for 7 years for drug smuggling and her bags always get searched! Now you tell me!
Ok … finally taxi to hotel in downtown Calgary … check into suite … crash … get up too early … wanted a Timmies so I elevator (verb?) down to the lobby, get directions and leave lobby … ok … when I left Ontario it was late fall but very warm 20+ …. didn’t notice the weather in Calgary until I stepped out of the lobby … around -5 with wind … I’m in shorts and a T shirt … ok … I’m a runner so I often run in cold weather in shorts … so I sort of jogged up the street to Timmies … This is an early weekday morning and I’m passing many people heading to work … In heavy coats, hats and gloves … they are staring at me … I think I had on my flourescent orange running shirt that said “Nike Toronto Island 10 k run” on it.
They really start staring when snow flurries start to fill the air. More stares in Tim Hortons in line … back to the hotel jogging with a coffee … my lady friend is still sleeping so I drank the coffee in the lobby. Decided I needed to take some pictures … My first meeting with the dot com people with dinner that night so I had the day free.
Went to the room got my killer camera … it is huge with that lens but very comfortable to carry … still haven’t figured out how to carry it with a neck strap. Warmer clothes …. camera … leave hotel … I’m a block away oblivious to my surroundings … I look back and there is a group of people that seem to be following me … can’t be … walk faster … turn corner … another corner … look back … larger group of people following me! WTF So I turned around and started taking pictures of them (maybe would help with evidence later on) … this kind of freaked them out … Bull by the horns … “Why are you guys following me??” Answer: We figured you knew where Brad was. Me: What? Group person: Brad and Angelina are staying in your hotel and we saw you leave the hotel with THAT camera and we figured that you knew where Brad was. Me: No … I didn’t know he was here and no I don’t know where Brad is!
Sorry … I REALLY have to get some work done …
Robert
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 12:31 PM
Subject: RE: Brad Part 3
you’re mean……
and…
you shall be punished !
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 12:33 PM
Subject: Re: Brad Part 3
Threat or promise??
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 12:35 PM
Subject: RE: Brad Part 3
promise…..
you ok with that?
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 12:41 PM
Subject: Re: Brad Part 3
Possibly … make that possibly yup … make that I’m usually open to anything …
R
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 1:25 PM
Subject: RE: Brad Part 3
good to hear !!
meeeee tooooooooooo
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 3:25 PM
Subject: RE: Brad Part 3
ok… so when do I read about Brad’s jiggly parts????
I’ve been glued to my seat (don’t go there!!) all day….
Sighhhhhhhhh.
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 4:00 PM
Subject: Re: Brad Part 3
Didn’t I tell you that there was no jiggly parts?? I do have a business to run here … I hate email because I can’t put the smirk on my face when I say “I do have a business to run here” because I can’t wait to tell you the rest …
Ok where was I? Oh yeah … went back to the hotel … turned on the local news and half it was that Brad and Ang were in town but nobody … NOBODY … had seen them … there was a contest running where if you could spot them and verify the sighting there was a prize …. there was a frenzy of Brad this and Brad that … he was in town filming a movie with “Jesse James” in the title … there were film dudes waiting for buses to take them to “the shoot” always waiting outside the lobby. I was two floors below THEM!
Enough of this … I wanted to run .. not away … but to get some quality miles in … I hate running machines but with my experience outside and no knowledge of available jogging trails I decided to go to the Hotels fitness club …
I arrived and there was two running machines in the “club”. There was a woman running on one and I proceeded to the second one. I said hello and she gave me a look that basically said I was the biggest perv in the world. Ok forget about God’s gift to men and start running.
I put earbuds in my ears and turned up a Classic Rock track and started to run. The Holy Woman left (thank God) and I had the room to myself. I mentioned that I usually avoid these machines … I feel like a hamster on them … I usually run in the forest when I can … and I run with a bear on my back … I made up that phrase to describe pushing the old heartbeats to the max and then some. I closed my eyes and ran for 15 or 20 minutes and the endorphins kicked in and I sort of forgot where I was … I know that because I dropped my towel that I had put over my shoulder and guess what I did? … I stopped to pick it up … remember I’m on a running machine! … what happens when you stop on a running machine that is cranked? … yup ended up against the back wall. Not much in the way of injury, only to my ego … went back to the machine and turned it off … climbed back on and started to run again …
A few minutes later a guy came into the club and took over the other machine … I think he said hello but at this point I didn’t want any conversation because I was in a groove and I didn’t want idle chit chat to destroy the moment … I kept running …
Back soon … sorry …
R
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 4:20 PM
Subject: RE: Brad Part 3
Arrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 6:50 PM
Subject: Brad Part Four
After a few minutes of ignoring the, dishevelled black haired guy that was jogging beside me I happened to look up at the mirror that was in front of us. It seemed like the whole city of Calgary was on Brad alert and here I was running and ignoring the famous guy … although to be quite honest he didn’t look anything like the dude in the movies. Black hair, loose fitting clothes, he looked hungover with black circles under his eyes and messy black hair … sorry no jiggly (I’ve never used that word in my life and here you have gone and made me say many times in 24 hours!) parts.
I looked around and the only other people were 2 obvious body guards sitting at a table outside the fitness centre. Now I didn’t know what to do or say. The following is the best recollection of our very brief interchange.
Me: You are ruining my stay in Calgary.
Him: Why? What do you mean?
Me: I can’t leave the hotel without hordes of sweaty masses following me.
Him: Why again?
Me: Just because I have a big assed camera. They think I’m paparazzi and I know where you are!
Him: (Laughing) Where’s your camera now? Do you want a picture?
Me: Its in my room and thanks but no thanks. You have caused me enough problems.
Him: (Still laughing) Sorry!
Me: It’s alright …
I got off the machine at this point and left saying “I hope you leave soon!”
Alexis … sorry about the delay in this but you must admit that it added some excitement to a boring old clean up day at work …
I’m bad … real bad … hee hee
Robert
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 7:12 PM
Subject: RE: Brad Part Four
Ok…. yes Robert… it did add some excitement to a boring old clean up day at work……
You have to know though that if that were me on the treadmill next to Bradley… the conversation would have gone much differently…
Me: You are ruining my stay in Calgary
Him: Why. What do you mean?
Me: Knowing you’re here…. I can’t focus on anything but your jiggly bits.
Him: Excuse me??
Me: Your jiggly parts… you know… the ‘jewels’
Him: (Laughing) I’ll show you mine… if you show me yours….
Me: Can I get my camera first?
Or something like that!!!! Uh huh.
So… will you teach me to run? I love cycling… rollerblading…. rowing…. walking… anything cardio (other than running). This body wasn’t made for running Robert… just loathe …. absolutely…. every….. freaking….. step.
How long have you been running for? How long would it take for me to train for a 10k? My head says yes… but my body says no. (funny…. usually it’s the other way around !!!!!!!!!)
Ok… I’m hungry. What’s for dinner?
and….
what time would you like me to call you?
A
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Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 8:31 PM
Subject: Re: Brad Part Four
Ha ha … I’m sure wish you had been there instead of me … it was, how should I say, kind of weird … not exciting at all … just wanted to get out of there … I kind of felt sorry for him … He didn’t look like he was having any fun at all … like running was a job for him … I was there because I love running.
And if I was being harassed because I might know where this guy was can you imagine being that guy????
As for dinner … made pineapple, pork, Bermuda onions, red and green peppers, water chestnuts and some other stuff stir fry with a kind of gingery soy saucy brown sugary sauce on basmati rice … how ’bout you?
Running? I started about 15 years ago and I run in cycles … 4 or 5 months on and a few to too many months off ….
I’ve only done one marathon and number of half’s and a few 10 ks. I’d love to do more. I’d love to run in Marathons around the world … there’s a charity that helps you do that. If I was more on the ball I’d start doing that but maybe you might be my inspiration to do it.
In terms of teaching you … I don’t know … I’d love a running partner … maybe it just isn’t your thing … I love cycling but mainly crazy style through the forest and if I haven’t ended up upside down at least once I haven’t had fun. Actually I love cycling on a trip too … I love doing the Niagara River …. I’d love to do a cycling trip across Ireland from lodge to lodge … or pub to pub.
Phone me any time! 999-666-8765
Thanks for that conversation with Brad … broke me up!
Robert
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SECOND PHONE CALL – ALEXIS PHONES ROBERT
Dec 16, 2009 – First Phone Call
Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 7:52 AM
Subject: Good morning Robert…
… playing hookie today.. spending the day with my daughters. Lunch… shopping.. and who knows, maybe a little spa time.
Just wanted to say hi.. and.. of course, send you a few more photos…
Alexis
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Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 8:55 AM
Subject: Re: Good morning Robert…
Hey Alexis,
Morning he says as he sips his first coffee of the morning and wondering whether the ashes2ashes.jpg is a human funeral pyre and is that a live monkey in the background beside the donation box in Parvatiworship4.jpg … great shots Alexis … thanks again …
Hookie eh … sounds great … thanks for my morning travel photos … you have SUCH a wonderful smile!
Jealous again … I would love to spend the day with my daughter … she’s in Guelph – school teacher … still my little one …
Brad story … is partly written … ha ha … I stopped writing in my journal a few months ago … that’s a bad sign for me but these emails lately could represent a new way of journaling for me.
Ok .. back to wondering what you and Google are up to today …
Robert
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Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 9:03 AM
Subject: RE: Good morning Robert…
You are SO observant Robert! Yes… that was a funeral pyre… a cremation site in Nepal along the banks of a tributary of the Ganges River… again… another afternoon that profoundly changed my ‘bucket list’. I’d love to tell you about that day. And yes again… that was a live monkey in the background… most people don’t even see that when they look at that photo. It’s actually one of my favourites…. there is so much going on in it… the fact that ‘donation box’ is written in English adds another almost whimsical dynamic to the photo. Listen to me going on about my pics….
I’ll check out the neglected blog…..
And now… it’s time for me to get shakin’…. Big day ahead of me.
Do you have any photos of yourself you can send me? You’re not smiling in your POF ones.. and they’re taken from SO far away!!
What’s up for your day?
A
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Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 9:53 AM
Subject: Re: Good morning Robert…
In the novel “A Fine Balance” by Rhinton Mistry (one of my top ten novels) Mistry wrote wonderful descriptions of funeral pyres along the river … oooohh … I think you are the only person who ever used the whimsical in an email to me … so congrats … you win the word prize of the day! I love words … they are so powerful! … today’s language is deteriorating at a rapid pace and when I hear someone using language as a descriptive tool I am captivated … do you ever listen to the Massey Lectures on CBC on the Ideas show? Incredible … Enough ranting …
Re Pictures of me … jeeze that’s a hard one … I don’t have any pics after I lost my eye and leg … hee hee … seriously I take ALL the pictures and I guess I could use a mirror but I’ll see what I can do in the next couple of days.
My day … I’m finishing up a project (last day) at a client in Woodbridge and then heading up north to my brother’s house – south of Owen Sound … and let me think … what I am doing tonight???? Oh yeah … I’m phoning a young lady tonight … waiting with breathless anticipation!
Talk to yah …
Robert
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Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 5:13 PM
Subject: RE: Good morning Robert…
hey there!!
Just in from my day with the girls…. I’m pooped !!!!
Looking forward to talking with you tonight too!… My friend Darlene be here until around 9:30 – 10:00 (we have a Wednesday ritual…. ) so hopefully it’s not too late for you to call after then (or before 7) God… I’m SO high maintenance aren’t I??
Just want to be able to give you my undivided attention!
’til later!
A
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Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 7:35 PM
Subject: Re: Good morning Robert…
Yup … high maintenance … just kidding … just arrived in a blizzard … eating dinner as I type … after 10 – no problem … I usually start my REM’s at 1 or 2 …
Talk to you later … don’t talk about me too much … LOL
Robert
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PHONE CALL TAKES PLACE AT 10:00 PM
Dec 15, 2009 – Phone Number Exchanged
Tue, Dec 15, 2009 at 5:50 AM
Subject: RE: Just kidding …
It’s not a Garland…. but it is a Jenair Duel fuel convection with modular downdraft cooking surface. 4 burners, 2 of which can be replace by an E-ven heat grill assembly (which I also happen to have as well) She’s a beauty… and… very well used.
So… will that stainless steel baby get you at least a little closer to coming down here and whipping up some magic in my kitchen??
Other fowl? I might be able to – only if it isn’t raised in a ‘fowl factory’ and pumped full of god knows what to make it’s breasts so heavy that it’s leg’s can’t support it. Have you seen the documentary Food Inc?? Yikes.
Speaking of movies…. what kind do you like? Big Hollywood Blockbusters… or low budget/independent/foreign goodies that leave you thinking about them well after you’ve left the theatre (guess which are my favourites?) If you haven’t rented Manufactured Landscapes… please do. You’ll absolutely love it. Photographer Edward Burtynsky (from St. Cath. of all places).
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0832903/plotsummary . Amazing film. The opening 15 minutes blew me away. His photos… you won’t believe how beautiful he makes a toxic, decaying ship in India look. Strange dynamic going on there.
Well aren’t I just full of p&v this morning. Could sit here and type all morning! But alas… it’s time to get ready for the corporate world…. sighhhhhhh. I need a more creative job!!!!!
Wait… did you say that pasta was your specialty???
Mmmmmmm……. yummmmmmmmm
Hey… where’s my Brad story?? (actually, I would have been out of my mind excited had you said it was Johnny Depp… but.. Brad will do!!)
Good morning btw Robert… hope you’re enjoying your day so far!
Alexis
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Tue, Dec 15, 2009 at 11:32 AM
Subject: Not Just Kidding …
Hi Alexis,
First things first … your stove … never cooked on Jenair … Dual Fuel? … sounds great … As long as it is HOT! Well used? Sounds a bit like me! Ok … you have an amazing home stove … your list of ingrediants for last nights dinner is none too shabby … so why do you need me to come and cook? … you sound way more than competant in the culinary arts!
Ok … next … Pasta … I love to cook pasta! I also love creating soups. Both allow a level of infusion of flavours that make me salivate just thinking about them … my favourite pasta? .. that’s really hard … when I worked at the 5 star Couples Resort we had a pasta of the day … I swear I created 100 different pastas … never repeated … great for using up leftovers … fast … every pasta ordered was a la minute … one favourite is a bunch of grilled veggies and seafood in a flamed Pernod cream sauce … Penne and Tagliatelli are my favs … ok enough … I’m hungry and it’s only 10:30 …
Fish and fowl … love pickeral and artic char … love chicken … but I like Elk better … oh wait they have eyelashes … whoops.
I read a book a while ago about the fast food industry … almost made me sick … I still hate eating hamburger when I have to. Food Inc sound gross and great … I’ll have to check into it …
Movies … movies eh … did you say movies? I suck movies … by that I mean I watch every extra on a DVD … If there are two different commentaries I will watch the movie three times … It’s like a film course. I’ve been a Michael Moore fan ever since Roger and Me … Capitalism is his best … way more balanced than his Bush hating rants …. Love the low budget thought provoking ones too but I probably should watch more … also love anything with Clive Owens, Johnny Depp (just watched Public Enemy last weekend), Anthony Hopkins, Meryl Streep (watched Julia & Julie? last weekend – loved it) … I could go on forever about movies … I’ll watch anything that isn’t full of guns or vampires or aliens … not too excited by the sci fi genre … Does that answer your question???? Read the plot of Manufactured Landscapes .. sounds wonderful … I saw another doc that showed the place where they dismantle ships … really eerie and beautiful.
Oh shucks … I don’t have time for the Brad story! Have to get back to my SEOing … sorry …
You know Alexis – I really don’t think we have that much in common … what do you think? … LOL I
Talk to you soon …..thanks for another great morning email!
R
—————————————————————————————-
Tue, Dec 15, 2009 at 12:57 PM
Subject: RE: Not Just Kidding …
Hmmm…. first things first for you now Robert… I don’t ‘need’ you to come and cook for me…. I ‘want’ you to come and cook for me. Such a luxury that would be… and… I think I’d like to be served. So there.
‘Well used’ sounds a bit like you? Well… ‘breasts so heavy it’s legs can’t support it’ pretty much nails me on the head !!! So… you’re a stove… and I’m a ‘factory fowl’… sounds like a match made in heaven !!!!! (just kidding about the heavy breast… my plow pulling Polish (how’s that for aliteration??) gams are plenty strong enough to support the front load!!!
Scared ya huh?
Let it be known… that I am very well proportioned… and fit as a fiddle.
No Robert… I don’t think we have anything in common… absolutely nothing at all. In fact… I’m so convinced that we have nothing in common that I’m going to give you my phone number… I’ll bet we don’t even have a single digit that matches! (about as subtle as an elephant I am !!)… so… here goes….
(000) 555-1234
and…
thank YOU for your most entertaining emails (but I am still waiting for at least one of the four stories you enticed me with yesterday…) We elephants NEVER forget!!
ttyl
A
—————————————————————————————
Tue, Dec 15, 2009 at 3:24 PM
Subject: Re: Not Just Kidding …
What was it … the Pernod Cream pasta sauce or the sucking of movies or you want to hear all the stories ???
I am feeling many emotions … maybe I’m making too much of this … it is not like me to fret about anything but I was enjoying THIS SOOOO much and I actually don’t want it to end …
Honestly Alexis … have you done this before? I have … I have to admit I have never felt a textual connection to anyone like this. It just has never worked out … Made some friends and some enemies … what do they say about a spurned woman? I had basically given up on this style of contact until I got your first message and then the photographs … the amazing photographs … then your sense of humour (but narcissistically? speaking it was you getting MY humour).
I’m flattered … thanks for the trust … thanks for everything … oh my battered heart … and what if I don’t want to cook … I want to slurp down bad pizza and drink coke … BTW … did you know that chefs/cooks as a whole eat more junk food than any demographic??? Just kidding about pizza … I only eat my own … actually I’m suffering from some weird kind of withdrawal from cooking … I get up from the ‘puter and I feel that I’m forgetting something … Oh yeah … I don’t have to scrub down the line. Kind of nice.
Back to your wonderful expression of interest in this guy … I’m flattered … and want to pick up the phone immediately and give you a call (but you probably aren’t there right now). I’ve got a busy night with my brother, Paul, tonight … we are going over to friends apartment and I probably wouldn’t be able to phone till very late … however I’d love to give you a call tomorrow night … in the meantime I’ll work on my Brad story.
Talk to you soon …
Robert
—————————————————————————————
Tue, Dec 15, 2009 at 3:41 PM
Subject: RE: Not Just Kidding …
Relax….. take a deep breath…. and welcome this ‘connection’ that has torpedoed into your life. Nothing to fear… and… SO much to embrace.
I think we ‘get’ eachother. You engage me.. you make me laugh.. you’re intelligent… you’re creative. You’re (so far as I can see) one in a million. I’m smiling… and looking so forward to learning more. The least we can do is explore this a little more. We deserve to do that.
I will SO be looking forward to our chat tomorrow evening. (but in the meantime… keep the emails coming ok??)
Have fun tonight Robert… and… from the bottom of my heart….
thank you
Alexis
—————————————————————————————
Tue, Dec 15, 2009 at 4:56 PM
Subject: Re: Not Just Kidding …
Thank you Alexis … You said the perfect words … how did you get so wise???
No time for Brad … maybe later …
Thanks
Robert
—————————————————————————————-
Tue, Dec 15, 2009 at 5:51 PM
Subject: RE: Not Just Kidding …
That wisdom…. came from LOTS of life experience…. (I do have my blonde moments though…. )
Quit teasing me with the Brad story …. sit down and write it already !!!
Have fun tonight!!
Alexis
Dec 14, 2009 – Third Day
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 8:02 AM
Subject: RE: … and then there’s always Peru….. From: Alexis
How did I know about your desire to meander through Machu Picchu? Just psychic I guess !! Did you put together that the boulder I was sitting on in the one photo was at the very top of the steep mountain (Waynapicchu) on the left hand side of the other photo? Yup… climbed that baby in an hour and 2 minutes (we had a 58 year old guy who had a kidney transplant last year in our group of 4… so we kinda had to wait for him).. BUT… I tell you… sitting up there… on top of the world, looking down on the lost city of the Inca’s was one of the most profoundly humbling experiences of my life. I can’t express in words just how amazing it was. I can tell you that my face hurt from smiling so much… delerium (but not in a whack-o sort of way). Just in a ‘I’m so happy I could pee’ kinda way.
Too much information… I know !
So 5 a.m. was your wake up call today? That’s what time my alarm goes off every day. Ungodly time of day isn’t it? (except on weekends for some reason… I love the early morning when it’s for me!)
Computer geek turned chef turned computer geek… I tell ya.. you get more and more intriguing with each email Bruce. Keep it coming ok??
So.. how ’bout a mini trip to China (and Bangkok) today? You in??
Alexis
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 5:04 PM
Subject: Re: … and then there’s always Peru….. From: Robert
You keep making me sooooo jealous about your travels! Your description of sitting on that pinnacle brought me almost to the point of delirium myself. Thanks for this … how long can you keep this up????
Becoming a chef is an interesting story … I’ve always loved the kitchen and I seem to have a talent for it … actually one of my biggest problems/assets is, without sounding to full of myself, the ability to be almost instantly competent in any arena I’m fighting my battles in. Almost too many hats fit this guy.
I went through a pretty emotional breakup a few years ago and I went kind of crazy where I quit everything I was involved in and bought a house in a day in Meaford and changed my whole life instantly. I’m a Gemini with just about the right amount of mania to keep life really interesting. Long story short … didn’t want any old memories being stirred up so I decided that I was a chef!
I donated my time to a local diner and started line cooking … I didn’t need any pay and I learned VERY quickly. After a couple of months I had learned everything I could from that cook so I started looking for my next challenge. I sent a mass email to almost every resort in Ontario offering my services as a line cook/chef/restaurant manager, whatever. I had just sent the emails, I walk into the kitchen and the phone started ringing. (BTW the date is December 16th)
Me: Hello
Caller: I need cook (in thick Russian accent)
Me: Ok
Caller: When you start?
Me: After New Years?
Caller: No … Tomorrow!
Me: No .. I have commitments over holidays. (I think I started to speak in abbreviated Russian/English)
Caller: Tomorrow and day after? How much you want???
Me: Tell me about the job.
Caller: Chef-Resort kitchen.
Me: Where?
Caller: Wunderlust Lake. How much you want?
….. ok this went on for too long …Russian dude assuming I’m starting the next day ..
Guess when I started ?? The next day … I met this tall, dark Russian guy at Bathurst & Steeles in a Seven Eleven the next day. He handed my $ 1500 dollars cash, handed me keys to a mini van and a map with the instructions to “BUY FOOD” and go to the resort. Yikes … what have I got myself into???? Russian mafia?? When do I start … who am I taking over from … what kind of food/cooking required?? Any question I had was answered by “you ok .. see you next week”. What! I guess a NORMAL person would have run for miles but silly me … always after a journey and experiences said OK .. bye.
Remember I am just an unpaid small town diner cook and now … I’m the Chef at an expensive resort serving 4 course meals … Russian mafia owned as it turned out. I arrived at the resort at midnight after buying food and finding Wanderlust Lake which turned out to be south of Turner’s Corners. Nobody was there … I drove around from building to building … everything locked … I got out and started walking around … so dark that I fell into the lake … not all the way in … just up to my knees … December remember ..
I have a van full of perishable food, luckily very cold out. Finally a German woman named Baba showed up and proceeded to yell at me … Who are you? Ok … what kind of bullshit chef are you? Have you met Igor? You are sleeping with him (honest I’m not making this up … I almost wish I was) …. ok … it turns out that there I was expected to cook a 4 course meal for 92 people in 3 days and there was going to be a full house until after New Years. Oh yeah … and the best part was that the kitchen only had a falling apart electric 3 burner house stove and the kitchen’s average temperature was around -2.
Guess what? I did it! Baba turned out to be a lesbian and we became best friends … The guests loved the food … I stayed 4 months until I started buying food with my own money. I was paid all in cash … I only got cash when I threatened that I would not cook for guests until I got paid. Trial by fire and I passed. I learned so much in 4 months that I became an actual resort chef for a “REAL” resort. So if you every want a 4 course meal prepped in 1 hours you know who to call but you have to pay me in cash and speak like Russian. BTW … Igor turned out to be an illegal immigrant that was assigned as my helper … he couldn’t speak a word of English and eventually we both learned some words in each other’s language … “Igor … please peel the Cartouchkas” Igor and I became fast friends who drank wine after work and laughed our heads. It turned out that he was basically being kept as a slave for $ 300 a month and even then he wasn’t being paid. I eventually helped him escape with all his luggage and we never saw him again!
Hey … sorry about that … I have to run … why do I feel like telling you stuff like this??
Alexis, Have a great evening …
Robert
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 6:07 PM
Subject: RE: … and then there’s always Peru….. From: Alexis
Jealousy is good…. ENVY isn’t (it’s one of the 7 deadly one’s isn’t it… right up there with lust (hey… what’ so wrong with lust??)…. answer me that will ya?
How long can I keep this up you ask…. well my dear… as long as you’re willing to allow yourself to be entertained by me !! That’s how long. And now.. the question is… are YOU up for it??
LOVED the chef story… except for the emotional break up part. Been there… done that… and don’t want to ever waste another 3 months curled up on the couch in the fetal (of is that foetal?) position. Love HURTS doesn’t it?? Ouchhhhhh. I want tender love… not to be ‘tenderized’ (think metal mallet) by it !!
Deep breath…..
Back to the chef thing… (1st of all… I have to tell you that I could very easily lust after a man who knows his way around the kitchen!!! Makes me quiver just the thought of it!!)…. You know you have to write a book right? The whole Russian mafia/German lesbian/Igor the slave story had me laughing out loud! Thank YOU for that!! So.. you must have loved the photo of the two ‘Russian internet brides’ that I sent earlier… I’ll attach it again if you missed it!
To answer your question (‘why do I feel like telling you stuff like this?’)…. because… you can !! Just know that you have a very captive audience at this end!!
And now… it’s time for me to whip something up for dinner… any suggestions? I have some broccoli, leeks, potatoes, polenta, mushrooms and zucchini…. should be able to come up with something good huh?
Enjoy your evening Robert .. and keep those stories coming… ok?
Alexis
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 9:19 PM
Subject: RE: … and then there’s always Peru….. From: Robert
I didn’t realize those women were brides … great shot … You’ve been to Russia??? Shit … where haven’t you been??????
Ok … another story … but first you have to pick which one!
Your four choices are:
1) The time I was lost in the wilderness for 47 and a half days
2) The time I went jogging with Brad Pitt in Calgary
3) I founded a dot com start up company in 1999 that eventually went on to hire 260 people and raise $ 18 million dollars and went under when our next round of $ 5 million in financing was cancelled due to the investor residing in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001
4) The time I chased a bear through the wood throwing rocks at its head ( I know this one isn’t politically correct but I had to)
There is only one catch here … I made up one of the above scenarios … if you choose the one that I made up there is no story.
I’m bad eh?
B
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 9:45 PM
Subject: Dinner … From: Robert
Hi Alexis,
I got carried away with my list of stories and it’s probably too late … but with the listed ingredients can I assume that you are a vegetarian???
What would I make with that list??? broccoli, leeks, potatoes, polenta, mushrooms and zucchini
Ok .. here goes … I would slice the zucchini very thinly with a mandolin, mix with sliced Bermuda red onions and drizzle this with aged balsamic & maple syrup dressing for the salad.
I would spice the polenta with smoky chipotle spice …. make potato rostis with leek (make sure you wash the sand out of the leeks) and finally i would grill the mushrooms in lots of butter and add parboiled broccoli with some sort of hossein sauce, soy, brown sugar, ginger and lime sauce.
Over and out ….
Robert
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 10:13 PM
Subject: RE: Question for you …
You’re EVIL !!
OK… Please tell me about the time you went jogging with Brad Pitt in Calgary… and I want ALL the details… like… how jiggly his ‘parts’ were … and how the beads of sweat just trickled down the small of his back….. and his musky… sweaty smell… did his muscles bulge….. and… exactly how did his heavy breathing sound??
Now who’s the bad one eh??
(I’m giggling right now!!)
ok…. so it’s your turn…. start telling the story Bruce!!
A
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 10:22 PM
Subject: Re: Question for you … From: Robert
Evil??? You obviously don’t know the meaning of evil … live … evil …. live …evil ..
Sorry that’s the one I made up!
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 10:25 PM
Subject: Just kidding … From: Robert
How did I know you would pick that one????
I will see if I can get up the energy to tell that old tale tonight … let me see … mmmmm
I don’t know if I NOTICED the jiggle parts! Actually I didn’t … sorry …
Stay tuned
R
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 10:34 PM
Subject: RE: Dinner … From: Alexis
you truly are evil….. get your ass over here and start cooking ok?? (my stove has 4 burners… not 3… and it’s gas… does that help??)
quasi veggie I am… haven’t eaten anything with eyelashes for about 20 years. Fish, chicken (but only if it’s drug free) and the once a year drug free turkey from the Mennonite butcher… I’m A- (blood type)… we’re better on ‘no meat’ diets… which is good.. cuz I really don’t like it too much anyway.
So… when am I going to see more of your photos?? I’ve been showing you mine!
And those Russian women… they weren’t brides… I was just trying to be funny. Did you notice the bouquet of THISTLES the one was holding?? They just cracked me up. Such sexy little kittens !!
Yes… i’ve been to Russia… country of the worst… and I mean WORST food in the universe. Bland, overcooked nursing home food at best. I lived on peanut butter that I brought from home.
So… I wimped out and made a potato and leek soup… (frozen homemade chicken stock though)… a little bit of that Turkish spice I was telling you about…. and some roasted garlic. Yummie… but not anywhere near as good as your creation. Hrumpf. (sound of disgust)
Time to lay my weary head on my goose down pillow…. ahhhh…. a little bit of heaven.
I look forward to your story….
AND
some photos please.
Sweet dreams!
Alexis
ps – attached photos are from the Amazon… we went to a local mom and pop bootleg moonshine operation …. you should have tasted the rum! Molasses and ginger… and a touch of gasoline I think!! Brought some home for the festive eggnog!!!! Yikes!
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 10:36 PM
Subject: RE: Question for you … From: Alexis
ok… how do I know for sure that you made that one up?????
and… that’s not the one I meant to write down…. tell me about the bear in the woods…..
pretty please?
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 10:37 PM
Subject: RE: Just kidding … From: Alexis
Ok… so if you didn’t notice them… use some of that artistic license that I’m sure you’re capable of… and embellish away (you can even aliterate if you’d like too!!)
I look forward to it!
A
Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 10:53 PM
Subject: Re: Just kidding … From: Robert
Sorry … just the facts mam …
Actually he didn’t look that good … not to me anyways but maybe that was wishful thinking …
I thought you were going to hit the old pillow!
Gas stove … now you’re talking … is it bottom of the line or dare I dream is it a little bit heavier and hotter than the standard run of the mill gas guzzler … remember I’m used to a hotter than hot Garland 6 burner beast.
I can work with fish and chicken … how ’bout other types of fowl … maybe a little smoked pheasant … maybe a wild turkey … maybe some wild game species … awesome cream sauce … actually pasta is my ultimate specialty …
Ditto on the sweet dreams …
Talk to you tomorrow …
Thanks for this …
Robert
Dec 13, 2009 – Second Day
Sun, Dec 13, 2009 at 7:53 AM
Subject: Speaking of Hookers From: Alexis
Good morning Robert! All bright eyed and bushy tailed are we??
Great photos… what do you mean you don’t know whether or not you can bring yourself to attach your pics…. they’re really good. Especially LOVE the shot on the beach with the little girl doing the hand stand and the little boy in behind playingwith the sand. Beautiful capture. You’re good!!!!! (If you can cook as well as you take photographs… you’re in big trouble’ with me!!!)
Me …. and Ansel Adams in the same sentence!!?? Ok… what do you want? Seriously. Give your head a shake man!!! But thank you for that! I’m MORE than flattered.
Where did I take them? The first three I sent you were taken in India and Nepal (my favourite place on earth). Such an amazing place. Being in Nepal was a TOTAL sensory experience. The colour, the smell, the sounds… tastes (the food was AMAZING).. and textures. I was vibrating the whole time I was there !!!!! I’d go back in a heartbeat!! The last photo of the man was taken at the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul. Aaaahhhhhh… another beautiful place. The spice market was another sensory overload experience. Spectacular!
WAIT!! You only have one eye??!!!
Yikes!!!!
Dog handler too? That’s very cool. Perhaps you can handle my Taylor? Part Border Collie part Huskey.. and part CRAZY! She’s so full of life… drives me a little nuts sometimes… but I LOVE her. I’ll send you a photo of the canine (she won’t let me call her a dog)… it’ll be love at first sight when you see her… I swear.
Ok.. so here’s more shots…. something to look at over your morning coffee. Hope you enjoy them… AND.. hope you show me more of yours. Enjoy!
ttfn….
Alexis
Sun, Dec 13, 2009 at 10:56 AM
Subject: Speaking of one-eyed photographers From: Robert
Good morning Alexis,
Just kidding about the one eye … I thought I made that clear .. But I didn’t tell you that I had only one leg! Yikes … a one legged photographer chef dog handler … quite an image … sorry about that … the caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet!
What a wonderful way to wake up on a snowy Sunday morning … travelling the world. Great shots! I read a bunch of reviews about your camera – Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ30 – I believe … the most interesting was on this amazon page: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000A7XSSY/sr=1-1/qid=1260718037/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1260718037&sr=1-1&seller=
The review was by a professional photographer (scroll way down on the page) who used it as his 3rd backup but said that if he could take just one camera on a photo shoot the Panasonic would be the one. F2.8 and 35-400 odd mm … oh baby!
I love your photos … the colour ones are great … especially the young girl looking up and the old women … but I’m a sucker for black and white … the arches with the beam of light … I want to blow that one up and stare at it all day … your use of light in the black and whites is great and whatever you do after (in photo shop?) is subtle but very effective.
Taylor looks like a wonderful character in a Disney movie. I can just see him (her?) in a typical Disney scene where an animal (usually a bear or a raccoon) breaks into a deserted house and destroys the kitchen and the culprit gets covered in flour.
I’m really jealous of the places that you have travelled to … Me … All over Canada, US and England and Ireland … So North American & English and so boring … Makes me want to grab my camera bag and take off … Life is too short … what are you doing next year???
One of my favourite chefs on the Food Network is Michael Smith and he has a new show this year called Chef Abroad … wow … you mentioned the spice market … I would love to go there, buy a bunch of spices, grab some local meat and cook over an open fire and watch the sun go down.
Actually I have a SEO client coming at noon and I have to have a presentation ready for him so I better stop dreaming ….
Thanks for this …
Robert
Sun, Dec 13, 2009 at 11:28 AM
Subject: RE: Speaking of one-eyed photographers From: Alexis
well… thank you Robert!
Yeah… I love my camera… was thinking of buying a new one for this year’s trip but just couldn’t do it. Felt like I was cheating on the big boy. Not sure that I even want to get into the DSLR business.. too much stuff to carry around… tripod.. lenses… etc. etc. etc. This one is full bodied (like the wine I like to drink), lots of manual features… and a Leica lens (great glass!!) so.. with all of that, why would I want anything else??!
In case you haven’t noticed… I suffer from ‘wanderlust’. The more I see… the more I want to see.
So tell me about Ireland? It’s #3 on my list of places yet to see….. I’d LOVE to go there.
The spice market in Istanbul… it was SO amazing. The smell of the place alone made me swoon !!! Brought a bunch back… Persian saffron (it’s under lock and key!)… and another called Mahlep (the inside of black cherry pits)… great for pilaf, egg bread.. etc. (what am I doing…. YOU’RE the chef!!!!) …
Ok.. excuse my ignorance… but what’s an SEO client? Can I be one???
and… the name of your restaurant please?? Where is it?
Again… enjoy the photos… and send me more when you get a chance ok??
Alexis
WAIT… did you say one leg???
Ok… here’s a few more b&w’s (just tell me to stop sending them… and I will)… and a couple from my most recent trip (just got home on the 23rd of Nov.)…. One week in the Peruvian amazon (which was SO freaking amazing).. and then another 2 weeks just touring Peru (Machu Picchu included). Talk about breathtaking!
Sun, Dec 13, 2009 at 11:45 AM
Subject… and then there’s always Peru….. From: Alexis
Do you know… they eat Guinea Pig in Peru!? Couldn’t bring myself to do it!!
However… we did eat at one local restaurant in Machu Picchu…. French woman (chef) married a Peruvian man (chef as well)… and their restaurant was a fusion of the two… Mmmmmmmmm……. most delicious!!
Sun, Dec 13, 2009 at 11:42 PM
Subject: Re: … and then there’s always Peru….. From: Robert
Alexis,
Long meeting … How did you know I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go to Manchu Picchu .. After reading the book … oh what was the title with the 9 insights??? God my old brain can remember stuff 40 years ago but … oh well you probably know the book I’m … oh yeah … The Celestine Prophesies … pretty simply spiritual stuff but at the time it made a lot of sense to me … and oh yeah I was talking about Peru … my God maybe this is too late to writing this …
SEO Client … Long story … but my last cheffing job was at a resort on the edge of Algonquin Park … after being abused enough in the commercial kitchen world I went back to a former life where I’m kind of a computer geek … SEO stands for Search Engine Optimization and Marketing. You can be a client if you have a website that you want ranked on page 1 of Google … Hopefully in the number one position.
Ok … that’s out of the way … another batch of great photos … keep them coming …. I’ll send you something tomorrow in the way of more pics from my lens …
Tired … have to get up at 5 am to head to the city … so goodnight if you are still up …
Thanks for the South American tour tonight ….
Robert
Dec 12, 2009 – Alexis Finds Robert
(first message on Plentyoffish.com – Alexis messages Robert after reading Roberts profile … Robert, in his profile, mentioned that if you don’t know the meaning of the word verbose then maybe you shouldn’t be reading this profile … hence the term arrogant SOB …)
Subject: I know what verbose means … 12:34 pm From Alexis
… and I think I just might be on the same page as you when it comes to the whole relationship thing… and… I’m kinda cute too!
So… read my profile (please)… and… if anything resonates… write me back (please).
Alexis
(Robert Responds on Plentyoffish.com)
Subject: Re: I know what verbose means … 1:25 pm From Robert
Alexis,
Ha ha … I reread my profile and I’m afraid that I sound like some arrogant SOB … but then again it caught your attention.
Your profile sounds great … photography eh … how about spending the weekend in Toronto and standing at the corner of Young and Dundas for hours on end and see who can get the best shots just standing in one spot!
I’ve actually done that with a Artist/Photographer friend of mine and it was just crazy how many photo ops presented themselves just by being observant … we also broke into empty old buildings and got wonderful photos with the sun filtering through dirty, cobwebbed windows. The atmosphere in an old train station in Hamilton was amazing and the wear marks from decades of people waiting on benches fascinated us.
Your first date sounds great … ditto about finding you fascinating.
Back at ‘cha …
Robert
(Alexis Responds on Plentyoffish.com)
Subject: I know what verbose means … 2:39 pm From Alexis
Hey Robert!
Well.. it just so happens that my favourite subject to take photos of… is… people!! Standing on ANY street corner for hours on end is right up my alley (hmm… kinda sounded like I was a hooker or something with that last statement !! I’m not.. just so ya know)
So you arrogant SOB (just kidding)… tell me more about yourself. I’m intrigued. Oh… and if you care to see any of my photos, email me at alexis@notmale.com I’d be happy to share some of them with you. And, while you’re at it.. you can send me some of yours.
Sound like a plan?
A
(After Alexis gave Robert her email address the rest of the communication is by email)
Subject: Speaking of Hookers … 4:19 pm From Robert
That reminds me of a late night photo shoot in downtown Toronto with my friend Todd who was the aforementioned partner in crime. We came across a prostitute leaning against a lamp post. Perfect subject … perfect lighting. We were about 100 feet across the street from her when we began snapping photos. This was many years before digital and we were manually advancing film like idiots. After a couple of minutes we were caught off guard when two HUGE black dudes (probably her pimps with lots of bling) blasted from the front doors of a seedy pub and started chasing us along Dundas street. Whoops … it was hard running with all my carmera equipment but fear is a great motivator … luckily I could run faster than Todd. We found a cab and the rest is history.
When I got home I developed the film and the prints (black and white) and none of my shots turned out!
Sorry about this rambling but I haven’t thought about that incident for years.
I’m not at my computer at the moment but sharing our pics sounds like a GREAT plan.
Show me some of yours and I’ll show you mine …
Later
Robert
(Alexis attached some of her photographs with this email)
Subject: Speaking of Hookers … 5:13 pm From Alexis
Ok…. what were you THINKING??? Taking photos of a hooker? You had to have known her pimp was close by!!! You’re lucky you’re alive to tell that story. Hah ha ha.. two white guys ran faster than two black dudes!! Did you scream like women too??!!! Please tell me more Adventures of Bruce and Todd…. you sound like fun guys!
Ok… here are some of mine… but remember… you have to show me yours ok??
Alexis
ps – you make me laugh!!! Thanks!
Sat, Dec 12, 2009 at 8:23 PM (Robert sends a few pics of his own to Alexis)
Subject: Re: Speaking of hookers … Robert
Hi Alexis,
I don’t know what to say! Your photos are great … and black and white …. and amazing …. and of kids! Where did you take them??
My favourite, I think, is the first one of the single child … what is going on outside the frame? That is what I consider a great photo … also the second where the kids are looking at something … what else is going on? Re the third … I’ve taken shots of feet but have not achieved your level of emotion. Re the fourth … I see many years of pain … I see a man that has almost given up … something is keeping him going … what is his story???
I really like your black and white technique. It reminds a little bit of Ansel Adams but of people instead of nature.
I don’t know whether I can even bring myself to attach my pics but a deal is a deal … right?
I haven’t mastered my former black and white techniques that I used in my dark room with digital. I could make a million excuses … most of my photos are on cd’s that I haven’t got on this computer … or they are colour … or that my camera is cheap … or that I have only one eye … but they are all lies … oh well … be gentle …
Ok great … my pics are too large to embed or attach here … so no I’m not going to wimp out … I’m uploaded them to Google and I’m sending you a private invitation to see them …
ok …
You should get a separate email to view my album on Google .. if you don’t, let me know and I’ll figure out how to get it to you … yes maybe Fedex … LOL ..
ta ta for now
Robert
PS … Is that enough showing you mine?????
Online dating at its finest ….
This is the true and uncensored, blow by blow, day by day, correspondence between two single people looking for a relationship …. Alexis and Robert. They met through Plentyoffish.com and Alexis made the first contact by reading Robert’s profile and apparently found something interesting.
When this blog was started they had been communicating for 10 days with MANY emails but had never met. The meeting is a number of weeks in the future but it looks inevitable.
The participants are making this public because they feel that there might be a few people who will find this interesting and possibly inspirational.
Follow the blog and find out about:
- Who initiated the first phone call
- The story of Robert jogging with Brad Pitt
- Roberts Christmas present to Alexis in the form of a fairy tale
- When the first meeting will be
- What happens at the first meeting
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